Fifties and Flustered

I debated with myself about whether to write on this topic but staying true to my commitment to creating the best life I can for myself, I pushed aside my fear of exposing my personal weaknesses to the world.

So, is it just me or did anyone else feel flustered after turning forty or fifty?

Well, I did.

In my thirties and forties, I could juggle three tasks at a time, now I struggle with managing one. Sometimes it’s a little scary. Especially when words like dementia and Alzheimer’s lurk around the edges of my brain because my mom was diagnosed with dementia after suffering a few strokes.

I kept telling myself that I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. My intention to do this is sincere, but my body and brain doesn’t want to corporate. Instead, my brain takes so long to accomplish a few tasks that the day runs out. And around six in the evening, my body becomes comatose.

This cycle starts over the next day. Some days I don’t feel like I accomplish anything. On a good day, I’m lucky to even accomplish three or four things on my To Do List.

What the heck?

While I admit I’m slightly overweight, I’m fairly healthy. I eat at least two or three veggies and fruits a day. I try to sleep six or more hours a night, even though sleeping is a challenge. Not exercising consistently and dealing with depression are my only drawbacks.

I’m beginning to think that exercise should be my number one priority instead of working on my current novel first thing in the morning. If I wait to exercise later in the day, it never gets done. I’m too exhausted.

What does everyone think? Is exercise the magic key to solving my all-over-the-place-scared-about-memory-loss-I-can’t-think-clearly-feeling?

This dilemma is why it took me so long to finish the first story in my Origins Unknown Series. It’s a science fiction/thriller romance, and I’m releasing it on Amazon April 22. I’ve included my back cover blurb and front cover below.

Pamela Varnado

My Website!


During a scientific expedition into the Brazilian rainforest to study indigenous plants, diagnostician Rosie McKenna faces her most challenging medical mystery. A bizarre skin condition is spreading through Burton Pharmaceuticals’ team members. A condition she can’t diagnose.

As she struggles the save the patients inside a top-secret field hospital she soon learns the scientific expedition is a cover for something far more dangerous than the hungry jaguars prowling the lush landscape. Something, that if allowed to move beyond the forest—could possibly change the evolution of mankind.

Isolated and frightened, she doesn’t know whom to trust. Trevor the career-driven botanist who wants to be more than just friends? Or Romas, the magnetic security expert who causes her to question her own sanity?


Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00073]

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7 Responses to Fifties and Flustered

  1. Josie says:

    I’ve made exercise a part of my life years ago, and I do it first thing, or else would make a million excuses. Deception sounds like a great read!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. marymarvella says:

    Reblogged this on MaryMarvella and commented:

    Lord, how I remember feeling this way, Actually I still do sometimes!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. marymarvella says:

    I have been there so many times I have a parking place there!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lyn Ehley says:

    Will the book be in print?

    Liked by 1 person

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